Getting Out

Most of you all know that I've been pretty independent most of my life. I don't mind doing things by myself - although it's more fun with to have a group of friends. Back in the states, I would go shopping alone a lot and I drove up to VA by myself a few times. I enjoyed the solitude.
So, it might be surprising to know that I am having a hard time getting out into Seoul by myself. I am terrified of getting lost and not being able to find my way home. We travel in packs here, which is nice. I have only gone off post alone a couple of times, and I really felt like I had accomplished something huge. But I really have to be in a "mood" to do that. And that mood doesn't strike too often. It really gets me down when I feel helpless, but even Eric has said it's better to go with a friend. Thankfully my children are starting to understand where I'm coming from.
The bummer this weekend was that it was MLK weekend and the kids have Monday off. I really wanted to take them to do something fun in the city, but I didn't want to go by myself. Eric wasn't able to come home this weekend, and all of my girlfriends had plans so I was on my own. We finally decided on going to COEX Mall, which has an acquarium and a game room. I was having to gear myself up for this.
Then this morning I woke up and taa-daa! There was snow on the ground - again! It's amazing what a fresh layer of snow does to one's plans! In my case, it changes them. As soon as Emma saw the snow she was out of bed throwing her clothes on ready to conquer the hill with a piece of cardboard! (We left our sled in storage! Figures!) After Jake got up we all got our clothes changed and headed outside. We had a snowball fight and built two snowmen. Samson got to run around and play ball. And it didn't cost a thing! Plus the kids are now worn out - at least Emma is and we can lay low for the rest of the day without hearing "I'm bored!" So thank you, God, for the snow!
Next weekend we will head off post to Build-A-Bear (yes, they are here, too) for Emma's birthday and to McDonald's for lunch! Eric will be home and I will be back in my comfort zone.
We are really hoping that when we have our next long weekend and Eric is home we will head to TigerWorld. You have to check out this website www.tigerworld.co.kr Look up in the upper right hand corner and click on English. We will go to the water park and spa. It is amazing what you can do with a small area, isn't it? But I don't dare go by myself, just in case something happens and someone gets lost or hurt.
My reference point for that is our Lotte World experience on Christmas Eve. Lotte World is an indoor theme park (www.lotteworld.com) and is kind of a cross between disney world and busch gardens. They have an indoor ice skating rink, so we decided to do that on Christmas Eve. Jake fell and busted his chin open requiring 8 stitches, and nobody spoke very good english, but the doctor spoke enough and I understood enough to know we had to head home right away to get him to the hospital. Thankfully, Eric was there and we were able to divide and conquer with getting skates turned in, Emma ready to go and head back to the subway. If I'd been alone, I would have been a basket case.
So here's to good friends and husbands who like to get out and explore - my world would be small and boring without you.

Snowy Day

It has been snowing all day today!! We have over 2 inches on the ground and the kids are still in school!! Yippee! It's quite a change from NC where they close everything down when there is a threat of a flurry! It started before the sun came up and it thundered a bit - which Samson loved - NOT. So, here it is at 3:30 and it's still going strong. Thankfully we have a warm, cozy house to come into and relax. Say a prayer for Eric - he's staying outside this week.

The other great thing about today is that my kids have been back in school for a whole week now, so I've been able to have some alone time. It does wonders for one's sanity. I have missed it over the holidays!! Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed having the whole family together for a few days, but there's something to be said about alone time, you know?

Neccessity - the Mother of Blogging

One of the reasons that I renewed my blog and changed the name was that I needed an outlet to vent how I really feel about certain things. I could always call my husband and talk to him, but I didn't want to vent everything to him. I also didn't want to complain about problems at home all the time. I was keeping a lot of things inside. I also needed to voice questions on life and circumstances. When I started my other blog I was trying to be very careful about being positive all the time so that folks reading it wouldn't think I was losing it over here. Then I did start losing it!!

I hope that if you are reading this that you care enough not to judge and will offer encouragement and advice from life's experiences.

Back in November the pace of things started to pick up significantly here. We had a change in senior leadership and that involved quite a few social events. The challenge with that was that most of them were held up north were Eric works. This means coordinating child care for the kids, which is turning out to be Jake babysitting, or making sure I get up there and am home by the time Emma gets home from school at 2:30. Also my mom had been here for the whole month of October, and I had stopped going to the gym so I could be home with her. So I was under more stress than I'd been in a while. As many of you know, I don't do too well with stress. It mainly seems to come out in the forms of upset stomach and heart burn. But this time it manifested itself with heart palpitations and shortness of breath. Classic signs of an anxiety attack. I've never experienced this before and it scared me to death. I went to the ER and they hooked me up to the machines and saw that I wasn't having a heart attack. I got to wear a heart monitor that recorded everything for a day and the doctor said it was nothing to worry about. Thank goodness. He did however, after listening to my history about stomach stuff, put me on Nexium (the little purple pill!) to help with acid reduction! I'm glad to say that things have calmed down considerably and the heart racing has been reduced. ( I also had to cut out caffiene - wah!!)

So, not to carry on like my grandmother and tell all of my medical history. I decided that I needed to find a way to express how I was feeling at any given time. To get things off my chest. I figured that blogging the good, the bad and the ugly would be helpful for me. So off I go again - hang on.

Getting Settled

"So, how are things over there?"
I've been asked that question many times in the last six months and it seems that each time the answer is a little different than the last. It is really hard to believe we've actually been here for half a year, but there are days when it seems like we've been here forever. I have found that I am out of the honeymoon phase now. The newness has worn off and I'm starting to see the "uglies". This is not a fun stage to be in, and I hope it passes before too much longer.

Seoul is a fun city and there are tons of things to do here. Actually getting out and doing them is another matter. I have found that I feel much more secure when I'm out with a buddy. It is very intimidating to be a blonde "round-eye". I really stand out in a crowd! I rode up to see Eric on the train one day - it's 1.5 hrs each way - and I was the only blonde in the car both ways. It has made me have a new appreciation for foreigners in the states!! I will definitely be more compassionate upon our return. Korean is a very difficult language to learn and to speak. Jake is taking Korean in school and is doing great, but it is hard to "teach and old dog new tricks". Mr. H, who cleans and helps out in the house once a week, tries to teach me words and phrases, but I can't seem to retain anything. It is very frustrating not to be able to understand the written word to even try to sound it out. It can make you feel very isolated. Fortunately when the Olympics were held in Seoul, many of the signs were changed to have English and Hangul so you can read it, but still not pronounce it. I'm sure I sound hilarious with my southern accent trying to speak or sound out words.

Korean culture is also interesting. It is based very much on honor, respect and not shaming anyone. The people here do not express emotion very much in public, but it is said that they will hold things in until they explode all over some poor soul. I don't want to be around when that happens. They are also very status conscious. Up where Eric is, he is big man on campus. But down here, I am lady nobody. It can get a little discouraging for me and I try not to get resentful or feel like I am entitled to something, but it happens sometimes. I don't get resentful towards Eric, but I do get resentful towards people down here who seem to have an "in" and are able to get things done, when I am stuck spinning my wheels. An example is that I can not get someone to come fix my laundry room, but I higher ranking person is moving in next door to me and they are getting their whole house redone. As Emma would say, NOT FAIR!! I think it is something that I'm just going to have to come to accept, even though I don't like it. It does grate against my nerves though.

On the up side - my house is finally in good shape. I have a friend who has given me some great ideas and has taken me to a great painter who does some beautiful work and I've purchased some pictures that are a little less masculine that the military prints we had all over our house in NC. I don't feel like I'm surrounded by men anymore!! I also found that the plants and flowers here are a lot less expensive than in the states, so I have more in my house - and they make me happy. I love the fresh flower markets and love the different orchids that are around. I guess my house has a slight asian slant now. It will be fun to see how it all comes together once we get our stuff out of storage again. I've also done some painting inside - I have a fire place with a cinderblock hearth that has been painted over at least 30 times and I got some terra cotta glaze and ragged it. So the color scheme is looking kind of Tuscany. I feel very comfortable at home. Thank goodness! I really enjoy my orange sofa with the gold swirls on it!! Oh, the joys of government furniture. You get to try out things that you never would have otherwise!

I think that I have settled in pretty well compared to some other folks who got here about the same time as me. I don't HATE it here, but I don't think I would want to live here forever. It gets a little wearisome being around so many people who are unhappy with where they are, and I think it wears off on me every so often. I find that I get the blues more often than I used to. No fun. Perhaps I need a "Happy Light!!" HA!

As Eric and I were talking about our changes in attitude he summed it up pretty well. The newness has worn off and now we must get on with the routine and continue to make it interesting. It's a daily challenge.